stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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