erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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