he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
