If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
