seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
