My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
