Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So vagazzling was a success
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
