id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
