I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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