How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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