Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
