Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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