Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
