i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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