Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
