Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
