i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
