is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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