So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
