dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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