It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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