'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Someone signed my nipple.
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