I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
