Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
