Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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