Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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