haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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