bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
