mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
