Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
