I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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