I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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