I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
