i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
