Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
