Redeem this text for a blowjob
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
