who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
