I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
