they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize