Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
