Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
