We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize