I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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