How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
