i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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