Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish you could order shots online.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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