I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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