girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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