i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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