he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I booty called her while she was in labor.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
