i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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