worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
