Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is it fun? or sober?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
