It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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