Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
