i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
