I can tuck mytits in my pants
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
