What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
