at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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