is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am naked and annoyed.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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