Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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