listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
