y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
